Monday, April 30, 2007
{ 10:16 PM }
urgh, my bag came in registered mail today but NOONE IS AT HOME.... -_-" MY BAG~! haiz, have to make a special trip down to the post office to collect it.... redelivery would have to wait more.... sianz.
CE materials today... damn chui... forgot most of the facts that i've tried to memorise the night before... so basically i'm crapping my way through...
yeah, i've crapped through my marketing and got a B+... also crapped through my communication and got a B+ as well... BUT, this is CE materials. engineering modules... NOONE crap thru and pass! i'm so pissed with myself...
after the paper, went for retail therapy for masks! hahaha... bought 6 sheet masks from Missha at one go.... now prefer Missha mask to The Face Shop masks because Missha's masks fit better.... The Face Shop mask are simply too long and too narrow... we're not horses! -_-"
oh nvm... last paper this thurs... my most feared and dreaded.... MOM. SIANZ~!
alright, just one more look thru the spree pages and then i'll hit the books... AGAIN...
oh, just a small note...
i've fallen in love! with STITCH! he's so so so cute can! esp in Lilo and Stitch 2... Stitch looks cute in his pajamas! =)
Saturday, April 28, 2007
{ 1:21 PM }
this is damn frustrating....
it's either this or that okay.
you have to stop throwing it into my face!
b*stard!
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
{ 6:51 PM }
i'm still coughing, and sneezing....
but thank god, cramp is gone. headache is gone. gastric is gone. fever is gone.
yippee.... in a better mood to mug. =)
well, got to see/hear something that really got me frowning...
just what's up with his mind?
i dun understand this person's way of thinking...
it seems like you're the one who betrayed your so called bestfriend's trust first.
and now,
you're sending a public message to him and telling him that you trusted him all along and not to betray your trust?
maybe i dunno what's going on deep...
but from what i see...
even if he's doing things to 'betray your trust' now, it's only an eye for an eye.
grow up, and stop viewing yourself from only a victim's point of view.
reflect, and learn from your mistakes.
people may do you wrong, but done forget what you have done to them as well...
stop whining and complaining and reflect!
but if you insist on thinking that the whole world owes you,
then so be it.
go ahead and swallow yourself up in misery.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
{ 6:57 PM }
damn suay these few days...
sunday, period cramp that nearly took my life... i was rolling ard on the floor just like last mth... and last month i actually went a&e for that, rmb?
monday, gastric pain that also nearly took my life... started coughing as well..
today (morning till afternoon), fever and muscle pain all over. still coughing...
now, sneezing and runny nose. still coughing, throat beginning to feel sore...
wtf?
I NEED TO STUDY!
Saturday, April 21, 2007
{ 10:09 PM }
this gonna be a mass entry... and hopefully it would be loaded.... in the midst of exams right now and is back at home and stuck with my horrendously SLOW broadband... URGH....
19th, first paper, soil. evening paper.... did 65% of the paper.... hopefully i would pass. Did ard 50+ 60% of the paper last sem as well but i failed. hmm... maybe becoz last sem my 30% quiz chui(all thanks to some stupid advice from some stupid people). but this sem my quiz scored full marks... so maybe i can make it through? i dont wish for any good grades... i'll be contented with just a passing grade. *nods*
20th, second paper. computational methods. one word... CHUI! i gave up ODE.... PDE, i only know the basics like find templates and stuff.... matrix..... somehow i also cannot really solve.... damn chui lor... only did 50% of the paper... quiz, i think i passed. but not fantastic also... damn it la! i dun wanna dabao another module! *wails*
and special term 2 results out... i got jap level 1! finally... after like 4 times of not getting anything... i finally got jap. guess i'm taking it la... nan de sia.... although now i need to take easy to get good grades kinda electives to pull up my gpa... but heck! hahaha...
Monday, April 16, 2007
{ 4:24 PM }
was mugging for my first paper on 19th when i was bored till the extent of not knowing what else to do but to grab the newpaper... lol
read the article about a particular matchmaking agency holding a promotion by giving away 15 china brides for free. wth? FOC brides? seriously speaking i think such matchmaking agencies that brings in foreign brides are degratory to us women. not because bringing in foreign brides will deprive us local women of men... *rolls eyes* but the way they're functioning is simply revolting. bringing in vietnamese women to the agencies and allow viewing pleasure for men to choose which one they want.
hello? what do you think this is? selling chickens?
the boss of that particular agency still compared those foreign brides to magazines.
what? browse and buy?
wtf? (sorry for the crude language, but really!)
URGH~! internal fire building up already... now giving away 15 china brides for free. what else in the future? buy one get one free?
and he said that those 15 womens understands about being in such a promotion and they're
excited about it. wtf, excited? i dont understand it! how can one be excited to be 'on sale' for FREE?
enlighten me, would ya?
oh, and i only got to know today that in the US, it's legal for women to abandon their newborns within 72 hours. *BIG BIG frown*
for now, back to study for half an hour more... and BaiFenBai! hopefully XiaoZhu would be ard today... heehee....
Friday, April 13, 2007
{ 6:37 PM }
final soil quiz today... and it was good. got 20 out of 25, and the tutor says 20 and above would be considered full mark. woohoo~!
finally, moved back to home and would be stuck with my horrendously SLOW broadband... wtf... wanna know how slow it is? it got me auto signed out of IB due to session timeout... and nothing was loaded at all! the pop up message that i was signed out just popped out of a blank white screen while i was still waiting for anything to load.
wth....
Thursday, April 12, 2007
{ 7:15 PM }
went imm for the first time... with sa. hahaha! yeah, nv went imm before coz it's like so inaccessible. but for the sake of the big big daiso over there... hiak hiak hiak...
bought like 7 items at daiso. my anti-bacterial wet tissue, flat socks for my pumps, cute usahana plasters, and two interesting japanese item.
this is a hydrating and anti wrinkle neck gel... but try your best to see the english words at the bottom of the japanese words... it says THROAT GEL. when i first saw it i was like wtf? do i have to take it orally? lol... neck and throat are different LOR. tsktsk...
and this is something even cuter. it's a bowel movement sticker! hahaha... just stick on 3 stickers onto your tummy and it supposedly helps bowel movement....
went fish n co coz i was craving for seafood platter for two only to find out that they've stopped selling seafood platter for 2 (the one with mussels) during lunch. only available at night. -_-" oh crap!
went Tha Face Shop and bought a T-Zone Matte Cream. unique silicon gel texture.... hmm, not sure if it's gonna work or not... and finally i found my Lilo and Stitch 2 VCD! yippee~! hahaha... stitch is so cute can... i want that sleepy stitch from the claw-machine at downtown east arcade~! *whines*
{ 2:04 AM }
i know that i have no rights to make a comment, but looking at the posts of someone else's really made me frown. what's up with him, trying to act all matured and grown up and perhaps even something near world weary when deep down we all know he isnt...
yet? of course, YET.. for the sake of putting yet. i have no idea what went wrong with him, i'm not a close friend of his anyway. but seeing such sudden changes in people (perhaps not really for the better) and yet are still somewhat proud of themselves for changing irks me.
but why do i have to care?
it doesnt concern me anyway.
but really, true friends give true comments without bothering to coat it with chocolate or melted marshmallow or butterscotch or whatever, because they see themselves as your friends and thus, they are not afraid to speak their mind. but if what they get is only questioning of their intentions and further self absorption, then it's just too bad.
just swallow yourself up to attain nirvana....
oh crap, i'm speaking gibberish.
must be the after-effects of reading those nonsensical 'philosophies' of the self-absorbed.lalalalala...
but of course, certain kind of self labelled true friends who didnt bother to find out the real facts and simply (or perhaps, brainlessly) believed what she HEARS aren't really true friends...well, tried my best to ignore the callings and frantic wavings of my notes to blog cause i wanna blog. hahaha! oh yeah, i'm missing donut too. but i've also found two new tenants for the miniatured playground located at the far corner of my living room. meet.... the whiter robo and the darker robo! -_-" shucks, i forgot to take any pictures. LOL.... yup yup, bought TWO robo this time round so that they can get company and perhaps even... hiak hiak hiak...
offsprings. nah, not getting any cheeky thoughts of hoping to see hamsters mate. was hesitant about naming them because... *gasps* i cant really differentiate them! hahaha... the only time i can differentiate is when both of them sleep. one is the lazy one which sprawls flat on the ground when it sleeps, while the other one is the not lazy one which curls into a furball when it sleeps. so, no point naming them huh... i wont even know which one i'm calling out to. sheesh!
and really people, i'm ok now. sorta glad to know that although now most of my friends cant really meet up frequently with me, they still do care.
special thanks to zhenzhen! hahaha... he was trying his best to act clownish and talk sense with me all these days.
and yeah, dont HINT for credits, cause that's what friends are for! so? no tomyum! muahahahaha~!
thanks for all the huggies, people.... and also thanks to Zane Stopid Teo too...
ok, and my notes are jumping around to catch my attention now...
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
{ 1:26 AM }
it's ok guys...
i'm nowhere near good.
but i'm better.
it's tough.
but i can survive it.
surviving exams would be another problems which is not to be touched on yet though...
damn it...
thanks for all the concern people...
i really appreciate it.
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
{ 1:24 AM }
got an sms from him saying that he's not throwing a tantrum this time and really wants out.
i just dont know what to do.
i dont understand him....
spent like 1 hr plus smsing him, trying to get everything right but i just cant.
he told me he still loves me
but he feel that we're incompatible.
i've asked him if he has a new girl.
he said no.
i've asked him if he didnt love me anymore.
he said it's not that he doesnt love me but he doesnt want to love me.
i've asked him if he would be happy after the break up.
he said no.
why?
so many times i've given him chances to make me forget about patching back.
and so many times he thrashed those chances and make me wanna hold on even tighter.
it's getting tougher and tougher.
he said that although he wont get happier by break up, at least he wouldnt be worrying about our future.
he's not local.
he has parents back at his country
he's the only son.
it's impossible for him to stay with me here forever.
and he doesnt expect me to go back with him as well, saying that it's even more impossible.
i really dont know what to do.
i just cant bear to let go when it's over something i feel that we need not be worrying about yet.
why does he worry so much?
i simply cant bear to let go when i know he still loves me.
if he really wants out, why didnt he make it easier for me by just telling me he doesnt love me anymore? why didnt he just lie to me and say he has a new love interest? why didnt he tell me he would be much happier without me?
why?
and i'm afraid even he cannot give me an answer to all my questions.
what to do?
Monday, April 09, 2007
{ 9:01 PM }
it's tough...
and it's getting tougher....
i'm missing you.
Sunday, April 08, 2007
{ 2:46 AM }
it's hard
and i'm afraid that it would only get harder.
i just have the urge to reach out for my phone and key in those familiar numbers every now and then, especially when my lecture notes are suffocating me.
it's just one day....
and there's a month more to go.
can i change my mind?
i thought i was down....
now then i realised i was then only halfway through...
watched The Reaping with my genki kakis.... not bad, but a 12am show plus fourth row in front really made me unable to really appreciate the movie....
Saturday, April 07, 2007
{ 2:01 AM }
i dont know how to say this...
but we've broke up... temporary? well, for now it seems to be temporary.
how i wished he has said "i dont love you anymore" rather than "I dont want to love you anymore".... the latter just made it so hard for me to give up and it seems to hurt more.
is it really because we've spent too much time together?
do we really need to take a break from each other?
would it help?
or would it just push us further apart?
i have no idea...
anyway, the step has been taken.
any regrets would already be too late.
hopefully, we would make it through the storm.
i'm sorry, but the amt i blog is the details i'm currently willing to share.
no further discussion would be entertained.
just, pray hard for us, would you?
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
{ 9:57 PM }
i seriously need to get this off my chest.
i'm very bothered by this.
of all times... why choose now?
to me, using 'not suitable for each other' after so long of being together to initiate a break up is much more of an excuse rather than a reason.
maybe we've spent too much time together.
that's why all the arguments.
that's why the thought to let go.
maybe we need to take a break.
but what would happen after the break?
i have no idea....
and i dont wanna think about it as well.
i dont know what i want now.
part of me wanna throw everything away and just get over it.
but part of me just cant bear to let go.
i dont know the problem.
and the bigger problem is that he dont know what's the problem as well.
seems like we're in a fix.
we're stuck, in this awkward position.
told him to give ourselves one more mth before we settle it.
i dont want to have such major changes when i'm facing my exams.
but part of me wanna settle everything fast.
i cant stand the awkwardness...
the feeling that perhaps everything is going to end.
or perhaps we could work it out and everything would be fine.
it's stifling.... and i'm feeling suffocated.
perhaps i would get to realise that we're better off as friends.
but i'm hesitating...
i've somehow developed this resistance to change.
perhaps deep down i'm afraid that i would live to regret this decision.
or maybe deep down i know that it's literally impossible for us to revert back to 'mere good friends' no matter how much i wish we could.
i'm down.
but please dont ask me or try to talk to me about this.
i have no wish to discuss.
{ 1:51 PM }
is it possible?
to realise that the supposedly 'special someone' is actually not suitable for us after so long of being happily together?
is it possible?
to so called 'come to your senses' just overnight?
is it possible?
to break up and remain as good friends without the heartache?
i dont know....
but perhaps i would know soon....
another thing...
we're officially 7 mths and 1 day together.... is this considered long?
hmm....
enlighten me, would ya?
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
{ 9:00 AM }
i'm pissed!
friggin pissed!
typed so much and cant post because blogger auto signed me out for dont know what freaking reason!
URGH............
fluid quiz today. totally unprepared for it because tutor didnt email us to inform us about the quiz when he promised to do so during the very first tutorial session we had. he told us he wld not make the tutorial a compulsory session and he wld not be taking attendance at all. and he promised to email us to let us know/remind us about any quizzes beforehand.
he did, for the first quiz. and i reckon we had nearly a 100% attendance.
this time, i think 1/4 or 1/3 didnt turn up.
and he was commenting that the turn up for second quiz is visibly much lesser than the first quiz. i bet he has forgotten that he has promised to email us about quizzes...
i wld not be this upset if i had ponned the previous tutorial.
I DIDNT PON.
I WAS ON MC! TAN TOCK SENG HOSPITAL MEDICAL LEAVE.
I WENT A&E IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND ONLY WENT BACK IN THE EARLY MORNING!
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...........
quizzes can make up to 30% of our final result.
THIRTY PERCENT!
i'm so friggin' pissed and upset can!
i cant do a single question. though it's mcq and it's impossible to hand in blank sheet.... but getting a big fat zero is not impossible.
nvm, retail therapy.
just ordered a japan imported bag... =) simple black, alot of compartment, shoulder sling. yay!
Monday, April 02, 2007
{ 10:19 AM }
went out to meet the girls yesterday to celebrate leng's birthday which is actually today. HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHEELENG! hahaha.... i bet you would frown when i even cap your name. lalalalala~! anyway, went bugis lerkthai for dinner. or shld i say, they went for dinner. firstly i was nv a fan of thai food... not even tomyum (apart from THAT tomyum soup base steamboat).... didnt really know the time to meet up... and fell alseep due to a light migraine developing... and i woke up at 430.... and only to be sure that the meeting time was supposed to be 5pm at bugis. -_-" so i decided not to eat as i dont think thai food would suit me as well.... yeah, went to collect her present and went ard trying to get the 40 by 40cm cushion wrapped. tsktsk... tough job can... so beeg... initial plan was to buy a pretty paper bag but even the biggest paper bag available is not big enough to squeeze the cushion in. sighz... finally got it done anyway and went to the restaurants to find them all full.... -_-" didnt even get to see what they ate... double -_-" but nvm, got to taste a mouthful of ps's oreo cheesecake... yummy! haha... then we went for dessert.... ate grass jelly... (how exciting... ) hahaha... coz it's cooling mah~! i needa cool myself down... super heaty nowadays... yeah, then we all went home coz i'm having cv2002 quiz and jay got this mountain of work to do. filled my poor empty tummy with instand noodles when i got home and my parents got pissed that they didnt wait for me to start eating.... aiya, no diff la... coz i also dun like thai food... even if we eat western like usual, it would be too oily for me as well... pasta would be too indigestible.... etc etc etc.... guess instant noodles would do the job. LOL..... no pictures at hand.... so no pictures up yet. muahahahahahaha!
actually planned to buy a new hammie today with bf.... but somehow i decided not to buy today. yeah, so went to bugis to shop for new flats!
and i bought THIS!
the photo didnt do justice to the shoes i swear. it's gold in colour and sorta blingbling kind.... I BOUGHT IT with bf's money.... -_-" *tries to escape jay's stares*
muahahahaha.....
oh yeah, computational methods quiz today. it was better than expected. out of the 4 parts i got 2 fully correct. and another one guessed correctly but unable to justify and one wrong... maybe due to careless mistake in calculation. thought i would be handing in blank paper coz i totally dont get what's written on the notes nor understand the tutorial eqns... but luckily the quiz is just about the basic and my crash course through the internet helped... ALOT.
Sunday, April 01, 2007
{ 1:46 AM }
on thurs morning, a hardened body of a hamster was found in a miniature playground at a corner of my house.
Everybody, please say goodbye to Donut, my pet hamster.
